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All Freaks! March 9, 2008

Posted by Steven in Freetime.

Mediocre Flight. Alitalia did not have the guts to transport me.. So they simply transferred to Air France.. Actually the pure Air France long distance flight to MIA wasnt too bad. But the hastle was very bad. I stood in awful economy class lines about 3 hours in Charles Du Gaules International. Well anyway the as I said the actual 9 hour flight wasnt too bad.

Upon arrival in this beautiful country and city I had a lovely chat with one of the passport security guards. I remembered it is always good to look serious and say hallo sir. That worked. He was very friendly and we chatted about the beauty of the girls in Miami, Florida. Anyway I got in. With – to my current knowledge – all my luggage and all my continental European charme.

South Beach is nice. Palm Trees, boats, actually everything that you picture is here in place. I was amazed that my expectations were fulfilled. It’s an enjoyable and happy spot on earth.

After the fun tour through the local fastfood places (we have seen a latin American girl which carried around her pet: It was a 1,5m long lizard on a leash!) we went for a walk on the beach. Very nice. Long wide beach with lovely sand and – from what I’ve seen now – lovely water.

Then we had to go out. And like always in these small towns (quite similar to Frankfurt – hahaha) there is only one place to go. The local hotspot is called “Twist”. It’s quite awful, has roughly two dancefloors (I was a little hung over from the fligth). Three bars and an outside area. One of the upper floors contained muscly man dancing to fairly funny techno music. It was alright. After dancing for 5 minutes and being hit at by some teeny awful boys which simply wanted to take us home – I went to the toilet. Actually that was quite alright, too. But of course: No paper towels. So I dried my hands using my friend John. He pushedback in a state of funne argumentation – but he pushed me back right into the arms of a very un-relaxed African American Security worker. He was very annoyed by me bumping into him. He made strange noises (Awwwww) and was close to kick me out. We escaped through the outdoor stairs and made our way into the absolutely awful table- (or better – pedestral in the corners-) dance bar. The boys were muscly but not so good to look at.

I picked a corner we relaxed – we were chatting. I sensed the eyes of a 45 year old on me so I said – lets go. John of course was on the chatty side and did not want to leave. So the old man was hitting on us. By the way we are actually Austrians now!

He has a wife.. He is bi.. He is stupid.. His wife supposedly knows and is very jealous. But he has a nice Hotel and lots of boys in MIA (I bet). In the end I really wanted to go but he insisted on buying us drinks. What do you drink? Given that it was late and that we had our share already I decided for “Corona”. But apparently that wasnt enough. He said he wants to pick an American drink. What did he comeback with? How creative: Vodka + Red Bull. I think it was a triple shot. Disgusting. Then the worst part ever.. We were talking with him about our home: Vienna and about the looks of the boys. I said I like the looks of only one (one not so overly muscly twinky type) . The 45yearold then gave that dancer mony to lap dance with me! After 5 min of argueing (me: “you’re straight and I am shy so lets not do this!”) he dragged me over to another dark corner and started to sway in front of me. I looked at the ceiling and we talked about him being straight an coming from Italy (he needs the money). Alright I confess: I did touch his lovely six pack! After 5 min that mission was over.

Then we managed to escape. I decided: One more tour through the club… Maybe that was a mistake. The techno floor was actually not that bad. Very strong vibes (very awful latino people though). We couldnt resist: One more dance. John hit on one awful guy from Panama. Well he was actually good looking from the chest down.

I left John some room and planned on being the sober German: just dancing. Well that wasnt so easy. Everybody was very touchy feely. People grabbed your ass and after you curiously looked at someone they try to grab your (you know what I mean). Three guys battled over me (I am not kidding) they came up.. danced up.. touched up.. And tried to make me grin at them and touch back. One guy was sexy (I mean sexy from my drunk and I-have-a-9-hour-flight-on-my-back point of view). To be honest sexy also just from the chest downwards. His complexion was really strange.. Somewhat latin with an exotic Philippine part in him. Very strange. Let me finish the story with two remarks:

John was more drunk than I was and I managed to get in my own bed quickly and safely!

John in the Car

MIA!! (01)



1. Steven - March 15, 2008

Josh’s mobile number:
678 665 5374

2. Steven2 - October 29, 2008

Recapping the contact theme from back then:

Moin, Moin..

na, wenn Du Bilder von mir machen willst, dann isses natrülcih kein

Du kannst das Päckchen einfach ins Konsulat schicken lassen – natürlich
mit attention of Jochen Zimmermann.
Das dürfte der sicherste Weg sein und ist vom Konsulat aus auch kein
Problem. Das machen hier alle so.
Wäre natürlich ganz schön, wenn Du beim bezahlen Deine eigene
Kreditkarte angeben würdest ;-)

Die Adresse vom Konsulat lautet:

German Consulate General
attention: Jochen Zimmermann
100 North Biscayne Blvd.
Suite 2200
Miami, FL 33132

So müsste es klappen :-)


3. Looking at March 2008 « The Blue S - March 22, 2010

[…] have blogged about the whole mission multiple times here. Now while test-driving certain Google Streetview features I have just re-discovered the […]

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